GOT A LITTLE CAP'N IN ME.

seriously if someone could just please teach me how to draw

wugs:

shotamilk:

I can’t anymore

ahhh, you need help with art. well, i am an expert

we will begin with physical media. paper, to be exact. you cannot work digitally unless you master the basics!

first: NO LINED PAPER

it is bad and it angers the art gods

no

you need printer paper

good

now, a writing utensil!

i don’t really know much about pencils

mechanical .5mm lead?

it’ll do.

AWESOME. now you need a hard surface. without it you will punch through that paper like the mighty hand of God

useless textbooks are probably the best for this, but if you have to you can resort to a laptop, a cookie sheet, or maybe a table

now assemble your supplies thusly: pencil in hand (right hand only; no artists are left-handed. if they claim to be, they are lying), paper on surface, surface on lap.

look at you. you’ve already done most of the work!

now, you create

remember to fiercely bend over your work to make it look difficult. also, try randomly moving your lap to add that ‘stray mark effect’ most artists strive for

change positions to avoid crippling yourself if you must, but bonus points if you actually come out of this experience with pain. art is pain.

making faces at your art adds that special something for a viewer to pick up on. it just adds an aura to the piece. think like easter eggs in films

EMOTION IS KEY. make sure these emotions are clearly displayed on your face at ALL times no matter what.

change positions often once you get near the end. this adds more emotion to the piece. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. if you harmed yourself in a previous step, you may skip the moving, but it might hinder the final product.

once you finish, simply admire your work for a bit.

BUT DON’T FORGET

every artist signs his or her work in the small free space at the bottom. also add the year and circle it so in thousands of years when your art is discovered like the painted caves of yore future historians won’t have to carbon date it.

artists focus most on the name because otherwise people steal their work nine times out of ten (especially if you’ve followed these steps because it will likely rival Matisse).

finally, display your artwork. because this is a tutorial, I’ll show you here, but normally this would only go on DeviantArt. There is no other way to display your artwork online.

None.

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Are you ready?

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you are my absolute favorite person ever